Adolescing & Becoming

Jan 24, 2022- Did you know that the word adolescent comes from the root word “to adolesce,” the verb meaning “to become?”

It is my firm belief, from personal and longstanding professional experience, that one of the key components in saving our planet and saving our humanity is to turn toward Adolescence.

Note the spelling - Adolescence and not adolescents. Note the upper case “A” in the former and that I am not naming adolescent individuals as the key component, though, of course, they are an inherent and important aspect of this saving/healing we are being called to do. The attention is on Adolescence - as a stage of human development in individuals, as a stage of human development in our species, and as an archetypal energy that lives in each of us once we’ve stepped into our adolescent years. It doesn’t matter how old we are. When we step over the threshold into adolescence, we step into an entirely new way of being in our lives, being in the world, and being in psyche. We invalidate, neglect, denigrate, and disrespect adolescents (teenaged individuals), adolescence (the stage of human development), and Adolescence (archetypal energy/experience) to our great detriment.

When I first started my private practice, I named my website The Shiftless Wanderer. It went against all proven business practices - which was to have my name in the website address so prospective clients could easily find me. However, I stayed firm in my decision and have never looked back. Erik Erikson, notable Freudian psychologist who gave us the stages of identity in human development, once said that adolescents were doomed, in essence, to shiftless wandering if we weren’t careful. I took offense at this as this is not what I’ve witnessed in the hundreds of young people I’ve worked with over the years.

Rather, what I see is that the kids I work with, am friends with, talk with, witness - none of them are wandering around aimlessly, drifting from one thing to another without purpose. They are actively searching for who they are and who they are becoming. Furthermore, this seems to be the case with anyone I meet and everyone I know - we’re all searching for our ways to come home to ourselves, all continuing on our way to becoming. So I reclaimed the phrase, The Shiftless Wanderer, reframing it as one of the most rewarding ways to participate in life.

I will continue to teach the powerful practice of validation and self-validation here in my blog, on social media, and in my courses. These are foundational to the journey. And the focus of The Shiftless Wanderer will turn more firmly and frequently toward the archetypal experience and energy of Adolescence in my work, including the very practical work of supporting those who work with teenagers, including: teachers, school personnel, coaches, therapists, clinicians, camp directors, bus drivers, etc. It just makes sense. Because that’s what we’re all doing, really. We’re all adolescing, doing the work of becoming, day in and day out, in every decision small and large that we make, in how we relate to one another and all that the world throws at us.

Think about who you are now. How you are in the world today.

Then think back to your adolescent years. Your hopes and dreams. Your ideals. What you were determined to do in the world and in your life. Everything was intense, exciting, dramatic, painful to the point of despair. Love, friendships, parents, work, music, poetry, art - it all seemed to matter so deeply. Or it didn’t if you were in the throes of depression, suicidality, anxiety - which many of us were and many still are. Death was close and yet old age was so very far away. Invincible and dancing round the edges of danger all the time.

Where is your Inner Adolescent these days? How does it show up? How did your adolescent years inform your life as it is now? What dreams died? What hopes came to fruition? What got wounded and never got healed in those years? Where is your idealism and beginner’s mind these days? How do you feel towards that Inner Adolescent? That kid you used to be? Do you admire him or her? Fear them? Have no patience for that teenager you once were? Or do you weep for them?

How did you adolesce when you were 13 years old? 16? 19? How are you adolescing now? And what about tomorrow?

Where are you on your journey of becoming?

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The Nine Steps of the Practice of Validation

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The Practice of Becoming: Self-Validation - Part 2