What’s The Big Deal About Internal Family Systems?

January 21, 2026 — I found my way to being a therapist in a meandering way, much like many of my other pivotal life choices. I actually had set out to save the world after 9/11 happened in 2001. Though I wasn’t sure what it was I would do that was going to save it. I first considered going back to school to get my masters in creative writing with a specialization in poetry. But I couldn’t see my way to being a legendary poet that was going to change the world, much less save it. So I kept searching. I had found personal salvation and sanity in the art journals I had been creating the year leading up to the fall of the Twin Towers, so a friend suggested I become an experiential arts therapist. I couldn’t get into the program I applied for and was at loose ends.

Then, a chance meeting at the farmer’s market on Whidbey Island led me to Carpenteria, CA, to Pacifica Graduate Institute. And I became a trauma therapist. 

Being a trauma therapist

I knew how to dive into and navigate my own trauma with the skillful guidance of my very experienced therapist. But it was a very long journey–almost a decade and a half before I found myself on level ground, out of the pit that was complex post traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD).

I knew how to be with my pain and all of the symptoms that come with CPTSD, but when it came time to sit with clients and their trauma, I couldn’t seem to find the way to helping them make sense of it. We wandered quite a bit during those years, not that it was without value. We explored dreams, did sandtray, Voice Dialogue, DBT, some Gestalt therapy, CBT, and good old fashioned talk therapy with some Jungian analysis thrown in for good measure. I remember clearly the moment I knew that I was determined to learn about this thing called Internal Family Systems, a title for something that held far more power for me than its jargonistic language conveyed. It was a video of Dr. Richard Schwartz who developed the model having an impromptu session with a participant at a training. Schwartz used the Internal Family Systems (IFS) protocols and as I witnessed its efficacy and power, I was sold. It seems there is a map through the internal landscape left ravaged by trauma, and that was what I had been looking for. 

Being a trauma therapist means sitting with folks in very dark places. Often they are stuck or imprisoned where there is no light, no doors, no windows, and no hope. Or, if they get unstuck, they tend to find their way quite readily back in the darkness. Being a trauma therapist is to also sit with the torturous inner voices of the clients. The Inner Critics, the Inner Abusers, Inner Shamers, Inner Judges and Juries. These are very difficult voices to live with, and they will attempt to undermine any forward movement in healing. It can feel like an uphill and ofttimes defeating battle session after session. 

When I discovered Internal Family Systems, I didn’t know exactly what it was or how it worked, but I had witnessed its success with a man in a great deal of traumatic pain. So I set out to learn. 

Why It Works

Internal Family Systems works for a variety of reasons. But to keep this short and relatively simple, it works because it taps into how most of us organically and naturally experience ourselves—as parts and having access to something greater than ourselves, what Schwartz called Self energy. And, if there are parts, then there are dynamics amongst and between those parts. 

For example, true story here—I went to the doctor’s a few days ago and was forced to get on the scales, with my shoes on!! Now we know that you just don’t weigh yourself with your shoes on because that accounts for at least 10 of those extra pounds we’re carrying around. Alas, the scales reflected weight gain which I immediately blamed on holiday eating from Thanksgiving to Christmas. I know enough about my parts and how they behave that there was going to be some internal backlash against the numbers on the scale. After my appointment, I decided I need lunch. And where was I going to go? To the Italian deli which just so happened to have an Italian bakery attached. I could hear the part of me that kept saying, “Just one piece of cake. We need that piece of cake. Chocolate mousse, please.” And as that part was chanting its refrain there was another part with a counterargument saying, “We are never going to eat sugar again. No more sweets will touch these lips for as long as we live going forward starting NOW.” 

I was caught between the two. I did bring home the chocolate mousse cake. It was to die for. I found a place of balance between the two warring factors within and was able to eat the one piece of cake over the following three days. Meanwhile, I was also dealing with the Inner Critic, the part of me that shames my body, my love of sugar, my eating, my Scottish ancestors, and my height. Because if I were 8 inches taller, I’d be the perfect weight, don’t you know. 

IFS has given me a map of these parts. I know them well. I know how to be in relationship with them. I know how to address the tug of war that often happens between parts. And, thank god, I now know how to recognize and be with the parts that shame me and the parts of me that are shamed. Because those parts can lead to devastating places. 

The map, the protocol that Internal Family Systems gives us, shows us how to facilitate relationships between the heart of who we are, something that the IFS community calls Self Energy, and our parts. It is in this relationship, which brings compassion, perspective, courage, and validation, that healing happens. And when therapists and healers can do this for ourselves, we can facilitate that same relationship between our clients and their parts. 

Now, I Return the Gift

It has long been a dream of mine to share what I’ve learned about Internal Family Systems through my work as an IFS therapist, consultant, and program assistant. Starting in February 2026, I’m facilitating an in-person workshop for a very small group of therapists who are interested in diving into the work, learning the basic concepts of Internal Family Systems, and taking their wisdom back to their families, their clients, and to their communities. Because that’s how this model works—it’s not just a therapy modality. It’s a way to sit with people, to understand how we work as human beings, how to be connected and in relationship rather than pathologizing and increasing the separation between us. 

I’m grateful every day that Internal Family Systems found me. It changed my life. And it changed me.

There are several spots still available! Email support@theshiftlesswanderer.com if you want to register or get on the waiting list for future workshops.

Photo Source: Canva Stock