DO YOU WONDER HOW TO BE A “GOOD ENOUGH” PARENT
WHEN IT FEELS LIKE AN UPHILL BATTLE?
Are you trying your hardest to be a good parent? Trying to not repeat the mistakes you feel your parents made when you were a child? Trying to establish or maintain a positive relationship with your child? And yet . . . . it’s just not working? Are you feeling out of your element or completely out of control? Parenting is, hands down, the hardest and most important job you will do in your life.
There are 100’s of parenting how-to manuals, but there is no manual for the unique dynamics between you and your child. Do you get to the end of the day, reviewing that argument or complete meltdown and wonder how to handle things differently tomorrow? Do you feel like all you do is lecture, give time-outs, or take the electronics away—and your child still acts out? Why does it feel like you keep losing control over situations that you think you’re supposed to know how to control?
When we feel like our parenting is ineffective at best or harmful at worst, it can be one of the most disheartening and painful experiences—for you and your child. I imagine that everything in you wants your children to feel your love, care, and concern for them. You want them to feel safe with you and for them to know they can freely talk with you. Do you wish you had the tools to manage the overwhelm, to feel more balanced and in control of the parenting roller coaster?
IT IS THE RARE PARENT THAT DOESN’T STRUGGLE
Parenting is the hardest and best work there is. The effort we put into parenting effectively, lovingly, and respectfully is returned a hundredfold. There are almost as many parenting manuals, theories, books, classes, workshops, blogs, and Facebook pages as there are parents. We are always looking for what might work. You are not alone in your quest to figure out the answers. Parent counseling is just that—your own unique quest to be the good enough parent that you and your child need you to be. You don’t have to be perfect. You just need to know how to respond with attunement as much as you can. But “how?” is the question. Working with a parenting counselor can help you regain your confidence, so you can reconnect with your child.
THE PARENT COUNSELOR/COACH CAN HELP
YOU ACCESS YOUR INNER WISE PARENT
My guess is that if you are looking for a counselor to address your parenting issues then things are tough right now. You may be exhausted, feeling like you are at your wit’s end or the pain of feeling that you aren’t a “good enough” parent. Sometimes it takes someone who is more objective about your children and your parenting to help you see what is actually working and where things can improve.
I have a background in human development, training in attachment theory, many years working with children of all ages, and raised two children of my own (with many mistakes made along the way—often feeling like a “not good enough” mother). I have developed an approach that I call Parenting on the Love/Fear Spectrum, which you can read about here.
When we meet, you can be assured that your parenting issues will be met with compassion and empathy. We will explore where things are breaking down or are ineffective, we’ll look for root causes, and then we’ll search for answers and appropriate interventions. By the time many parents reach the point where they are seeking a therapist to help with parenting issues, they are hard pressed to feel tenderness towards their children. They are exasperated and sure that their children are oppositionally defiant or just trying to drive their parents crazy on purpose. Working with a parenting counselor will bring you back round to your compassionate parent’s heart. You will find again that solid, intuitive, wise inner parent that knows how to meet the daily challenges with humor, patience, strength, and grace.
YOU MAY STILL HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT PARENTING COUNSELING
I already feel like a failure as a parent. Am I going to show up and find out I’m even more of a failure than I thought?
Engaging in parenting counseling is not an admission of failure. You are making a commitment to show up to your self and for your child. We may find that some parenting strategies you are using are not effective. But this is not a sign of failure. Remember, there is no manual for you and your child. We will be writing a new one tailored for you and your child.
Should my child and I both come to the counseling sessions? Or me and my spouse/partner?
It may be that the counseling will prove more effective with the participation of your child and/or your spouse or partner. But much work can be done with just you attending the sessions. Your desire, commitment, and follow through at home between sessions can be surprisingly successful.
What if I attend counseling, gain some strategies to deal with my child and then my child changes up the behaviors and I’m back at square one?
Much of what we will discuss and what you will be learning in parenting therapy will be about the nature of children—how their minds work, what their behaviors are telling you, what the emotions are under the words. You will also learn about your own triggers, how your parents continue to affect your parenting, and what the emotions are under your words. These are skills that will transcend age and child. You will be well fortified to deal with many parenting situations and will know where to find answers if needed.
If you are interested in parenting counseling or have more questions, I offer a 15 minute phone consultation or a 30 minute initial consultation, please call 425-238-2765, send an email to email@example.com, or fill out the Contact Form. I respond to all inquiries and communications within 48 hours. I invite you to explore the menu on the right for more information and resources regarding parenting issues, challenges, and solutions.